16 Things Every MMORPG Player Can Relate To
So I’m a newbie to the genre, having only really been playing MMOs for the last few years- what with being an FPS only kinda gal and all, but I found myself tempted to come over to the dark side and haven’t really gone back ever since. That isn’t to say I don’t still dabble in the FPS genre but I’ve found something here that I haven’t found anywhere else.
Throughout this.. Enlightening experience, I guess, for lack of a better word, I’ve noticed some common themes between MMOs, even the real obscure ones that Stix drags me into, and the players that inhabit these strange yet wondrous worlds. So here are my top sixteen most relatable things I’ve discovered whilst playing!
1. The Drop
So to start things off, I figured we’d jump right into it… like literally… jump right into it, because in every mmo it’s a requirement to see if you take fall damage. You run to a high point, you look down, take a moment to contemplate whether or not this is a good idea, debate what’ll happen if you get hurt and then swarmed by the horde of monsters down there or- even worse, if you’ll die, and then you just…. Take that leap of faith. There’s hardly ever a happy inbetween either, you either fall one foot and die or you fall from a skyscraper and survive with a twisted ankle. It’s a rare case when you actually discover you take the proper amount of fall damage compared to the height you fell from.
2. The Opener
Number two, trying to figure out what opens your inventory. Everyone has experienced this at one point or another. From the very moment you log in you instinctively mash either the B or the I button in hopes that it’s the inventory. I wish everyone would just get on the same page and make it I. Stix says he likes B since in all the older games it used to be keybound to B, but whatever, he’s old school.
3. The Queue
Number three, being a DPS and waiting in group queues. I’m pretty sure there’s some DPS person watching this right now just waiting for a group. Don’t worry, hang in there. Just know you’re not alone. I used to play Warrior in all MMOs and I feel for all of you DPS out there. I remember just laying my head on the keyboard and waiting for nearly twenty plus minutes for a queue to pop. Thankfully, in the last year I’ve decided to start focusing on being a healer for Stix’s tank. I mean, it makes sense for a nurse to go healer, that’s kind of my thing. Queues have been much more kind since but there’s still the occasional wait.
4. The Customizer
Number four is character creation. This single feature defines whether the MMO will be worthwhile or not. Is the character creation good? Bad? How unique is it? And how many seconds did you actually spend making your character because you look like Freddy Krueger and I’m concerned about your life choices now. Personally, I spend at least thirty minutes or more depending on the variety that is offered.. But Stix will argue he has time to shower, head to the store, pack everything away, cook dinner then come back before I make it past the face options.
5. The Distance
Number five. So you see that guy over there with a quest? Yeah, he wants you to take one step to the left to tell that other guy that his brother is missing and you need to go pick flowers for his grave together. I hate when the questing NPCs are literally within arm’s reach of one another and you need to go play monkey in the middle between them. Why is this a thing?
6. The Hoarder
Number six is something Stix and Wiggy struggle with daily but I’m sure all of us can relate to. Inventory space, it’s a problem. There just never seems to be enough room. You start out the game and you’re like “Sweet sauce, I got like three pages or ten bags of space, I’m super solid” and then within a few levels you’re like, “Why can’t I pick this up? Inventory full?! WHAT?! How did this even happen?!” You either end up selling things or drag and dropping it everywhere like the litterer you are.
7. The Tutorials
Number seven. I’d like to believe that most of us signing on to an mmo have some sense of what a keyboard is and how to move in a game. But every game insists upon teaching you how to use WASD to move. I don’t know if they just don’t think we’re capable human beings that have now had computers for years or if there really is that .1% out there that really does need this tutorial. But then again.. I still see people backpedaling in PvP so maybe the tutorial is warranted. Either way, I wish they’d get rid of it already.
8. The Tiddies
Number eight, boobs. I don’t really feel like I need to explain this any further than the word itself. Well, the word and some nice visual imagery for all of you to observe. But I can’t help but notice that these things are thrust in your face in nearly every MMO out there. I also know that it’s required to see if they have physics just by watching Stix play.
9. The Rager
Number nine, when your raid or dungeon has that one guy that rage quits because of something minor. There’s just never the perfect group every time. Like for instance, when someone stands in an AOE and dies and then blames the healer for not healing them. Or blaming the tank for not pulling aggro from the adds within a timeframe they deem to be adequate. And I absolutely love it when people put the blame on the group instead of reflecting on what they did incorrectly that resulted in whatever incident they’re whining about. This is made evident when they rage quit and you succeed.
10. The Blind
Number ten, speaking of rage quitters and it being their fault sometimes, there’s also the people that just stand in every…god…damn…AOE….every time! You sit there and you watch them just take it like it’s their job to stand in that flashing red or orange telegraphing on the floor. And you wonder if perhaps they’re just blind or if they’re lagging when in reality, they’re just stupid. So this is for you stupid person that stand in the AOEs, this is for you.
11. The Lagger
Number eleven. Lag, it’s a problem for most people with potato computers or those of us that live in third world countries.. Like Australia. Okay, maybe “third world” is a little too much but based off of what Stix says having lived there for 27 years.. It’s not that large a stretch. I used to play MMOs on my laptop and I remember being in a boss battle when suddenly.. My entire game would lock right up. There’s nothing more disappointing than freezing or seeing your fps drop it like it’s hot with every flashy attack, let alone having to deal with lag due to latency issues. Have you ever tried dodging a boss with a half second cast with a 1 second action delay? Yeah, have fun with that.
12. The Grinder
Number twelve. So every mmo has this feature but some more so than others, cough cough, Chinese MMOs. The grind. It’s the bane of our existence but it’s also the only thing you actually do besides dungeoning and pvp in MMOs, and for some reason we’re gluttons for punishment. I’m thinking all MMOers are masochists.
13. The Look
Number thirteen. Leveling gear, sometimes- and this is the minority here, but sometimes you look good and other times you look like you’re running around in a bag or you’ve taken up a side job as a clown. And until you get a costume to cover that disgusting excuse for attire, you’re stuck in it!
14. The Lonely
Number fourteen. So I want to just put this out there, because it’s a thing, MMO stands for Massively Multiplayer Online, right? So why is it in every MMO we go at it solo? Why are instances all solo-friendly these days? None of these games really require any form of party play. There’s absolutely no point to having a group or being around other people until you’re forced to socialize for dungeons or raids and even then I feel like no one wants to talk. I’ve tried saying hello to a few people and maybe one out of twenty people will say hi back. Otherwise you’re hanging out by yourself, like the antisocial person you are. And that’s not a healthy way to play a game built around the communities that play it.
15. El Traductor
Number fifteen. Speaking of being social, let’s touch upon guilds for a second. Why is it that in every MMO there’s that one Spanish speaking guild on every English speaking server that ends up popping up in the middle of your screen requesting you pledge your unfaltering loyalty to their guild.. In Spanish.. Which we don’t understand. Who knows, they could be asking you to join their guild so they can sacrifice you to their God. Either way.. Where are you people coming from?! No hablo Espanol! You make me feel like my language diversity skills are inadequate to play on this server! Then you make me question if I joined some kind of.. Cult after I accidently accept it.
16. The Outfitter
Number sixteen. Outfits, costumes, transmog. Whatever you want to call it, you know it exists, and you can bet that it’s a focal point of many a players’ endgame. I love dressing my characters up- it’s part of the fun for me. Seeing the kinds of creations other players come up with whether amazing or downright scary is always an interesting experience to have. And you know that part of the grind listed earlier is due to wanting that final piece they’ve been trying so hard to get for the last 3 months.
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